​IF ONLY I KNEW HE WAS SUCH A MONSTER

"You wanted the marriage to be held early"

Mom said handing me the plate of salad.

"Yes I did but"

I sip water from the glass in order to get some time before I speak again.

"But what love?"

Mom sat back on her chair looking confused.

"Nothing, I was just trying to get the reactions. Chill"

I add a fake laughter in the end that makes her believe it was all a joke. I could not sleep last night. All I was thinking was if He would call the marriage off or not. It seems he did not.

I intentionally glued myself on the bed a little while longer than I usually do in order to not meet his gaze again. I was successful. The time by which I walked downstairs after bathing, Dad had already left for the airport with Vladimir.

"He is a gentleman"

Mom says proudly and I choke.

"Who?"

"Mr. Vladimir obviously"

I nodded looking at the last sausage on my plate. No gentleman would behave like he did to a lady in an empty room. 

I get up from my seat, thanking for the food.

It is a sunny day today and I want to go out. Normally I would call Maxim and ask him to pick me up but today was different. Starting from last month, everything was different but different does not always have to be bad.

I am determined to make everything different in my life be something good although, about Vladimir, I cannot really promise...

________♡________

It is almost the middle of October now. A lot of preparations are being made. Dad is throwing parties almost every weekend and we are spending a lot of time together. But somewhere in my heart, I am scared. I am scared of the marriage. I am scared of the man I am marrying even!

My phone rang suddenly, kicking me out of my thoughts and I connect it to my laptop.

"Mia! I called you a number of times before the flight. Where were you?"

I shouted at my best friend.

"I am so sorry. I fell asleep. Everything is fine? you landed well?"

"yes we did"

I say sighing. She is always busy with her family functions these days but it's alright as long as I get my share of her love and attention.

"The ball is tonight?"

"Yes and I am scared"

I say. My palm already feels so cold. 

It's not like I have never attended any big party but this is an introduction party thrown by his family. I can't believe this is the start of me getting drifted away from my family, my safe place.

"Don't worry I have talked to Dad. He said they have a respectable name in society. They are not murderers"

Mia said while laughing.

"You think this is funny, Mia Colbert?"

I say indifferently but as always she gives no damn to the seriousness I am expecting from her. She believes in chilling and doing everything as perfectly as one can and the first step to perfection is not doubting yourself thus, 'chill out babe'

"Chill dude, everything is gonna be okay. Just believe in yourself. You are the prettiest being I know who is a dank educationalist. You are a gem to their family, the honor is all theirs. okay? now breathe lady"

"Facetime with you always helps"

I say finally smiling openly for the first time since yesterday.

"I know right? My friends here say the exact same shit"

She winks.

"So how is the boy you always menti-"

I could not finish because Mom knocked on the door and came in saying, "The car is here, Darlo. Ready?" 

She paused for a while to look at me.

"You look absolutely Gorgeous"

She finished and I smiled before she left.

I turned back to the laptop screen.

"Okay, bu-bye!"

"yea and best of luck"

________♡________

The car stopped in front of the glorious mansion. There were people all around, going inside the house and coming out. A number of cars were parked outside.

"We are here sir"

Informed the driver.

Dad got down and opened the door for Mom. She walked down and I followed her. I wore an ice-blue colored dress that heavily hung from my body. A lighter shade of net covered the dress along the length giving it volume. The dress was super pretty to look at but I don't know if I am doing justice to the beautiful dress.

My hair lay back on my shoulders for I decided to let them free especially because of the cold weather here.

We slowly walked inside the mansion. With each step, my stomach started curling even tighter. Dad greeted a few men on the way. They do have a few common business partners.

The house from inside, looked even larger and prettier. There were a lot of people talking here and there. They were giving us glances and looking away in an instant. They don't know us. They are not supposed to but the ones who are supposed to introduce us are nowhere near to be found.

Some part of me felt disgusted at this carelessness. I can't even imagine me or my parents doing such to our guests.

"Is that you, Czarina?"

I heard a familiar female voice from the crowd. 

I turned around to bump into someone. Without any doubt, it was Mr. Vladimir Abramovich Rotenberg but that is not the concern. I am yet to find who was calling my name just now.

I step back trying to keep looking at his eyes rather than hiding my gaze here and there.

"Czarina?"

The voice says again. This time I watch a hand hover in the air from the crowd in front. 

"excuse me"

I say in a low voice and step ahead toward the crowd when a hand grips on my wrist, tightly, pulling me back. He gives me a stern look and says under his breath, "Not now"

I frown at his mannerism. Did he lose some business deal today? What the hell is up with the attitude dude?

I try breaking my hand free without making a scene.

"leave"

I say gritting my teeth still trying to get my hand out of his grip.

"Keep trying"

He gave a faint smirk, enjoying his mischief.

I glance here and there to find my family but god knows where in this huge hall they are.

He started walking across the room, still holding my wrist, partially dragging me in a way no one understands.

We stop near a group of people standing by my parents, smiling and talking.

He suddenly grabs my waist instead and pulls me a little closer. The eyes fall at us and I try smiling even when my heart is racing beneath.

"She is Czarina"

He says smiling at the people. My dad blinks once in an approving way.

"Hello Dear"

An elderly lady speaks up.

"Hello"

I bow, freeing myself from the man.

"She is my grandmother, beside her is my uncle and aunt. This is Pearl, my cousin"

He introduces everyone to me and my family.

We talked for a while. Vladimir kept wandering from one set of people to another. His face looks so different with a smile, a fake one though. This is how businessmen are, fake smiles with glorious words. How vulnerable might have he felt when he showed me his true self, the evil one?

I stood in one of the corners talking to Pearl when we heard Vladimir's uncle draw everyone's attention by tapping two glasses together.

"Ladies and gentlemen may I have your attention please"

The couples who were dancing in the distance stopped and everyone lend their ears to the man with the mic.

"It's a beautiful occasion to announce our heir, Vladimir Abramovich Rotenberg has finally found his match with an equally fair lady"

The room burst into a chaos of claps.

"Meet the bride-to-be, Miss Czarina Rottenberg!"

They clapped again but my smile vanished away into a frown. I quickly glanced over to my mother. She pressed on my shoulder reassuringly, saying, "It's okay it's an orthodox way of addressing the wife-to-be, child"

My frown, although, did not go away. I looked at the man I was to marry with distress in my eyes. He did not really care. He had a neutral face all the way. He looks even more brutal after shaving his face clean. 

After a while, the music resumed. I could not pay attention to anything Pearl was talking about.

Suddenly I heard my name taken behind me.

"Czarina..."

I turned around to find Vladimir. He held my hand and in no time we were walking over to the dancing area.

"Would you share a dance with me?"

He said in a low voice. I don't think he can ever sound polite.

"I am afraid I cannot"

I was already annoyed that made me this rude but it was a waste for I could not turn around and walk away. Not because I cared for his reputation but because he held me too tightly.

"A dance is a mandatory Czarina Kirillavna Walton. A family ritual must be respected"

I don't know when did we start dancing on the way. I was listening to him saying my name. No one normally called me by my full name. It sounded so much more attractive in his voice, honestly.

"If you are married in this family, you will have to follow the rules no matter who you are"

He said in a passive tone.

"I am not bound to marry you. Not yet"

I said throwing daggers from my eyes toward his.

He swung me around so that my back was now touching his chest. He leaned his head down.

"So you plan on calling your marriage off, for the second time this year?"

My heart stopped for a moment.

"H-How did you know?"

I say in a low voice.

"That is not important. The important part is, will your family be too proud of this decision"

He swung me around again and now I am facing him.

"Think about it, how will your family feel giving everyone this news again? What about their reputation?"

He tilted his head to the side with a pitying smile. 

"Listen to me carefully, if you marry me... you will have to do all the rituals no matter how silly they might seem and if you do not wish to marry again, then I will personally wish your parents luck. They will need it this time"

He pulled me closer so that our faces were inches apart.

"Think, Czarina. Think..."

Before I could say anything, the dance was over. Everyone started getting off the dance floor but I struggled to find which way to go. In a moment I spotted Vladimir walking over to a direction my parents are in with his.

As soon as I reached Mom, I whispered in her ear, "When are we leaving?"

We have a ritual in which we don't normally have dinner in someone's house we are not yet engaged to.

"What do you mean by 'leaving' child?"

His grandma said with a smile.

I look at my mom and dad then back to her, confused.

"Did you not inform them?"

She said looking at Vladimir.

"Inform what?"

Dad interrupted.

"I thought they already know that the bride-to-be has to stay with her in-laws after the introduction party until the marriage day without meeting any of her family members or friends in between. It's normal here and they come here often so..."

Mom and Dad looked at each other with surprise but what I held in my eyes is pure horror.

"That's okay if she meets her family in between. It's normal these days"

His grandma said with a smile rubbing my arm gently.

"Avia, we do follow the whole ritual"

His aunt stepped ahead with a smile I doubt is generous.

Mom's grip on my shoulder tightened. I looked at Vladimir, He was looking at me since the very beginning of the conversation but the moment our eyes met, he looked away as if nothing bothers him. It's all his fault. He did that intentionally. He is no less than a monster.

"Whatever you find right..."

Dad gave in with a polite smile.

"We will send men for taking back everything she might need"

His aunt finished.

This is nothing like I imagined. This is a pure nightmare. Three months without meeting anyone I know with a family I find nothing good about? How am I going to get used to their ways? They are so different... so much.

I don't want to marry Vladimir Abramovich Rottenberg.